Loveless
by bombplaya3
Summary: A Hades child would never-could never-love. But what happens when a daughter of Iris brightens his gloom?
1. Chapter 1

I stood at the edge of the lake.

All around me, the camp seemed to sway to the rhythm of the campers' gentle breaths as they slumbered on.

"Lucky them." I thought wryly.

I stared into the reflective surface of the lake, drinking in the image that looked back at me. Coal-black eyes scrutinized me, taking in every contour of my face, noticing every flaw. My jet-black hair seemed to glow with a menacing light. My face had a subtle hint of that regal quality, characteristic of the Big Three gods. All in all, I guess I was pretty good-looking for a son of Hades. I guess that explained the "Hades Hullabaloo" as I called it.

Yes, not exactly the whole camp was asleep. Even now, yet another girl waited in my cabin, probably freaked out by the motionless, hollow-eyed skeletons that waited standing guard over the cabin.

Rebecca? No. Tanya? No. Kira? No. I couldn't even remember this one's name. Most likely she was set up by her cabin mates, because I rarely forget a face or a name.

Felicia. That was her name; she was a daughter of Iris..

I was pulled away from my thoughts with the arrival of the moon. It's soft light spilled from behind the cloud cover, bathing everything in a shimmer of ethereal light.

My "clients" as I called them always smirked as I entered my cabin shirtless. They thought that I wanted to impress them with my well-developed chest and abs. They were dead wrong.

It was my own personal therapy. Designed, perfected, and administered to me and by me.

I shrugged off my black shirt and bore myself to the slight chill of the air, The moonlight fell on the olive tone of my skin, and then, the magic started.

I had my own suspicions of why this happens to Hades kids, and I'm confident it has something to do with my mother. Once my mother…passed, I'm sure Hades formed something to remember her, beyond memories alone. Hades was like that. I'm sure he still feels pain over her sudden departure from this world, and it hurts too much to think about. Did they sit and look at the moon too, reveling in its beauty? Did they take moonlit walks, holding onto each other? I don't know, and if it wasn't about my mother, I wouldn't care.

But according to da-Hades, all his children were affected in the moonlight. Something about the cells infused with the underworld itself, but its all biological mumbo-jumbo to me.

All I know is that I glow. I glow in the moonlight. My skin was tinged with a silvery, soft light, bright enough to illuminate the ground a few feet, in every direction from me.

This was the only time that I truly felt whole; like I did not have to hide myself.

Yeah, sure, Percy made life a whole lot better for all the minor demigods and even Hades, but I still felt like an outsider. Not many people want to be FRIENDS with a child of Hades. Even the girls that come to me jump up as soon as they can and dash out of the cabin, as if something bit them on the ass!

But out here, in the moonlight, a complete calm falls over me like a blanket. I can't explain it, but I feel better, I feel right.

The clouds moved over the moon once again, and the light coming from my skin ended abruptly, leaving it with its natural olive tone once again. I sighed loudly, feeling incomplete once again. That one thought, incomplete, reverbrated in the walls of my head. And straight away, my mind was racing. Two words crashed against each other, again and again.

Unloved.

Loveless.

It was the norm; accepted and actually expected from Hades children.

And the more I thought about it, the more it actually made sense, even fitting my situation. The girl waiting in my cabin; she didn't care about me, she didn't love me. And I didn't love her. But there was a distinction. I was a thing to her. She used my body. She used me as a sex toy; an object that she could manipulate the way she wanted. Simply put, I was her bitch.

What made it worse was that this wasn't the first time either.

My heart dropped with that realization. But she WAS expecting me. Of all the things that I inherited from Hades, I had to get his damn sense of chivalry! But I was having doubts about how I could be chivalrous in this situation.

So it was with a heavy heart that I turned back towards my cabin to meet…Judy? No. Felicia, I think.

My walk back from the lake to the cabin was a blur of color, but as soon as I looked upon Felicia, the world came back to focus almost instantly. I believe that this is the exact moment that I fell in lov-…lust. Hades children don't love.

Her brown hair shone even in the dim light of my cabin, and her piercing blue eyes gazed back at me, focused and yet relaxed. Her skin was dark from time spent in the sun. Her trim figure was proportionate to her body, although her orange Camp Half-Blood t-shirt was extremely unflattering. She even had on a slight amount of make-up.

That should have been the first flag. Usually, my clients didn't dress up. More often than not, they had their hair thrown into sloppy ponytails and they wore sleepwear to come meet me.

But neither of these things registered with me. Her jeans miniskirt revealed a generous amount of leg, and my eyes roamed up the length of them hungrily.

Now I was grateful that my shirt was off, just so I could impress her with my body. And I very much wanted to impress her right now.

Slowly, I became aware that I stood staring, not speaking, mouth slightly agape, for longer than was appropriate.

She opened her mouth to speak.

"Hey, I'm Felici-", but that's as far as she got. I had taken three quick steps to cross the cabin and crushed my lips against hers. I tried to squeeze all my depressing thoughts from my head by her lips alone. It should have hurt her, but she was responding almost as roughly as me.

After a few moments, we calmed down and were actually able to enjoy the kiss. Her lips were soft and sweet, almost like honey, and eager for more. In short, she tasted amazing.

She opened her mouth slightly, and licked my bottom lip with her tongue. My heart sped up and I was actually afraid now.

I had not felt like this about any of the other girls. I felt like I was spiraling out of control, maybe down one of the whirlpools that Percy's dad enjoyed so much. I liked being in control, and right now it was my own emotions that were rebelling. MUTINY!

But I responded, more on auto-pilot than anything now. I placed my hand in the small of her neck and kissing her more insistently, letting my tongue wander and roam into her mouth. Our tongues touched and recoiled, the first meeting exploratory.

I opened my eyes to see her staring back at me, with some undescribable emotion in her eye. I gazed into the depths of her eyes, and I fell in, fearing that I would never get back out.

So I shut my eyes again, and went a bit further. I dislodged my tongue from hers and slowly, gently, began to kiss the side of her neck, creeping down onto her shoulder and collarbone.

At the first kiss, she gasped, breathy and high, and my pants got a little but tighter. I continued and at her first moan, my heart actually skipped a beat. Why was this happening to me? The other girls moaned too. Why did she affect me this way? What was so special about her?! I moved to the hollow of her throat, and kissed the length of it. Her neck vibrated slightly as she began to pant shallowly.

I stopped to study the movement.

"No, Nico, don't stop!"

And I followed what she said, all the while thinking that I had just heard the first red flag. No one had ever called my name. Ever. They wanted what was for them, and then to get the hell out of Hades.

But I continued, slightly perturbed by her behavior. I surprised myself by picking her up and gently placing her on my bed. I placed my hands on either side of her, supporting myself by the strength of my arms alone. My legs and waist melded with hers, and my erection held close contact with her thigh.

I kissed her again, and she twisted her fingers in my hair, keeping me close.

I moved things along. I slowly slid off her top and admired the simple black bra that she wore underneath. She could not show off her evident bust in the camp t-shirt, but now I had a perfect view.

I kissed my way down her body slowly, tenderly, and her breath increased in sound and frequency as I moved lower.

Collarbone

Heart

Right breast

Left breast

She arched her back and clenched her fists, and I placed a hand in the small of her back, so that she could let herself go limp in that position.

Center

Stomach

Left side of her waist

Right side of her waist

And here, her breath sped up as I took off her skirt. It slid off painfully easily, and I prolonged the moment until it was off completely.

Right thigh.

Pant, pant.

Left thigh

Gasp

Inside of the left thigh

Moan

But at the right side, I stopped and stared in horror. She turned her head, ashamed. An ugly purple bruise decorated her thigh like it was a canvas. A slowly healing cut was slashed through it.

I don't really know why I did it, but I turned her head so I could look her in the eyes, and I kissed both the bruise and the cut, tenderly.

I came back up and kissed her forehead.

As I moved back down the length of her body, her breath slowed and I had an epiphany.

"I really don't want to do this. I don't want this to be the end. It doesn't have to end, does it?" I thought.

I felt as if my head would split down the middle, I was thinking so hard. I looked Felicia in the eyes.

"I…we can…you co-" I stumbled.

I stopped. I wasn't making any sense. I was tongue tied, and I cursed myself for having a stutter at the one moment I didn't need one.

I sighed and quietly and turned my head to face her opening. It was still covered by a lacy black G-string. But then she swiftly and firmly shut her legs.

Her eyes shone and she spoke quietly.

"This doesn't have to be the end, you know? I don't want this to be a one-time thing…" Her voice was solid, and she was able to voice what I could not. Her eyes looked at me pleadingly.

I sat up, amazed that she could be thinking the very same thing that I was. I nodded.

Now, extremely uncomfortable, I lay down beside her, our shoulders brushing lightly against each other. We stayed that way for several moments, the silence covering us like a blanket.

But then, she rolled over, still unclothed, and laid a hand on my chest and promptly fell asleep, my chest, her pillow.

I looked down at her in wonder, and I slowly drew swirling patterns on her smooth back. All of a sudden, I knew who she was. She was a new girl, came to camp a few days ago. She was quiet, and it was a big shock when she was claimed by Iris.

I wondered to myself, "Could she really be different?"

But I pushed all thoughts of me being a Hades child away. I didn't need any party crashers, thank you very much.

I stayed that way for a long time, thinking about…everything. But finally, sleep came over me and I settled an arm around Felicia's narrow waist and fell into a blissful sleep.

**A/N: Hey guys. So originally this story was meant to be a one-shot, but then I developed my original idea, so now it should be a story of 10 chapters at most.**

**If you didn't understand, Nico is kind of like a male prostitute at this point. I'd say it is set maybe two or so years after the second Titan war. He feels no love…or does he? I meant this to be angst, but I don't actually know if I succeeded.**

**Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2**_

The next morning, I woke up still half-asleep. I stumbled into my bathroom, stubbing my toe on the way.

"Aw, Hell!"

I jumped on one foot, holding the hurt toe in my hands. I must have looked just like a monkey, cursing and screaming about my toe. Good thing that the Stoll brothers weren't around with their damn camera…

I jumped unsteadily around my cabin before I reached the edge of my bed. I sat down on it, and pulled out the Black bra that I had sat on.

As I pulled out the bra, I'm embarrassed to say that it didn't register to me right then that I shouldn't have a bra in my room. But as it hit the floor across the cabin, I stared at it. Stubbed toe forgotten, I crossed the cabin, and looked down, still just staring at the bra, as if it was going to jump up and clamp down on my throat with its nonexistent teeth.

But finally, I picked it up, and read the name on the tag. "Felicia." And then I felt _really_ stupid.

All the memories of last night came flooding back to me. I looked around the cabin ore than a few times,, just to see if she was hiding behind the bed or something. I realized then, that I wanted to see her very badly.

"What we did…that wasn't just a simple hook-up, I was pretty sure that it was something more. We connected in some way." I thought to myself.

The words had leapt unbidden into my mind. I looked down at the bra again, and noticed the slip of paper that was folded into the fabric. When I folded it open, I found the short message.

"_Zeus' Fist. 11:00. TONIGHT"_

I had a bad feeling about this. The message was short and crisp, not giving off any aura of light-heartedness.

I continued into the bathroom, hoping that the warm water from my shower could wash away my apprehensiveness. When it didn't work, I stepped out of the shower, cursing Percy for being the only one that could feel better after any water.

I deftly dressed myself, still focused on Felicia's note, not paying any attention to what I was dressing myself in. When I looked down, I cursed Felicia for having this affect on me. I liked CONTROL! Felicia took away any pretense of control I had. I was dressed in a pair of bright pink shorts,(I didn't even know that I had a pair), and a light gray shirt with a picture of a squirrel on it, nothing else. Worse, I was still holding onto that bra.

I cried out loud, and swiftly located my long, black, baggy pants, and my self-tailored Camp Half-Blood t-shirt. By self-tailored, I mean inky black.

After messing up my hair absentmindedly, I strode out of my cabin, slouching a little. The Aphrodites giggled and waved at me from across the square of cabins, while more than a few of the guys from other cabins glared at me menacingly. I chuckled to myself. Get a glare like the one Hades has on his face perpetually and then come back.

I looked back down on the ground and continued on my way. Yeah, sure, it wasn't the smartest thing to do, because I bumped right into Percy.

He took one look at me, and without even a 'Hey' came out with, "What's up with you?"

I ignored his question and instead said, "Hey, where's Annabeth? I thought I saw her walking down to the beach with Logan…"

His eyes widened, and he quickly turned and left. Logan was a child of Aphrodite, and even with guys, he was "hot". I chuckled at the thought of Percy jumping high above the waves like a dolphin, screeching out Annabeth's name for the next few hours.

So I kept walking, not really paying attention to where I was going, but then I was stopped by Annabeth herself.

"Nico, Felicia is in her cabin."

I blanched back.

"So? What do I care?"

She fixed me with a very serious look, and she spoke slowly.

"Nico, I'm a daughter of Athena. It's my job to know things."

I sighed. She had a point. But I was scared to go in there. There. I finally admitted it to myself. What if she left that note to break up with me or whatever? I mean, did it really count as breaking up if we weren't really together in the first place?

So instead of walking to the Iris cabin, with its funky, loud colors, I turned to head back to my cabin, to immerse myself in the dark colors of the shadows.

And it would have worked too, that is, if the breakfast bell hadn't clanged, and my stomach hadn't rumbled. I groaned out loud. I would have to face Felicia anyways.

"Oh, for Hades' sake!"

But I knew it wasn't Hades. I was pretty sure that it was because of a certain, beautiful goddess, one with an extremely stuck-up view of herself, no, literally, in the mirror, and who rode around in a white limo.

I groaned again.

"Aphrodite, why do you hate me so much?"

And I could have sworn I got a reply.

"Nico," a disembodied voice whispered on the wind, "I don't hate you…trust me, I want you to be happy."

**A/N: Hey guys. I really did not like this chapter. It felt like a filler, but it's an important one. And it's already feeling like its going to be the overdone cotton candy crap, but I'm trying to steer it away from that direction! **

**So go ahead and review! And I'm sorry it was so short!**

**Oh! I'm thinking of doing the next chapter in Felicia's point of view, but tell what you think!**

**-playa**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3**_

I sat on the edge of my bunk, trying to straighten out all the thoughts racing through my head. My sisters set me up with Nico, saying and I quote,

"We're tired of you being the ice bitch! You need to relax; get laid!"

I laughed humorlessly to myself. HA! If only they knew how often I got "laid", I'd be the camp's pity pet. And I hate pity.

I groaned. Nico was just so…I don't even have a word for it!

Who says that Hades' kids have to be so dark and angry all the time? What I saw of Nico last night was nothing but the most tender and loving things ever.

And I still had NO IDEA what I was going to say to him tonight, with my oh so cryptic note that I left in his cabin.

I groaned again. This is ridiculous! Nobody ever made me feel this way! And they came with pockets just crammed with bills! With a determined air around me, I deftly pulled on my Vans and stalked out of the Iris cabin, my cabin mates looking after me with concern on their faces.

*

I walked aimlessly around the camp, unsure of what I was going to do. Yes, my air of determination quickly left me. Finally I just retreated back to my cabin. I looked like an idiot, just hanging out around camp. As soon as I walked back into my cabin, a few of my sisters ambushed me.

"Felicia, we're really worried about you. I mean, you haven't told us anything about last night, and the way you were groaning earlier…" Rose stooped short, her eyes flashing with concern.

But another one of my sisters piped up, voicing what they were all thinking.

"He…wasn't a freak, was he?"

And then it hit me. They weren't really worried about me! They just didn't want the guilt of setting me up with a freak. I laughed at the thought, and laughed even harder at the confused looks on their faces. One or two had their mouths open in surprise, while another was actually pouting at getting laughed at.

The pouting one opened up her mouth to speak, probably to yell at me, but the breakfast bell cut her off. Saved by the bell-literally!

I quickly turned, bent over out of laughter while wiping tears from my eyes, and walked over to the dining pavilion, my stomach's hunger making itself known. I patted it absentmindedly, trying to calm myself down.

But when I walked through the door, I lost my appetite and my mirth.

Because the Hades table was situated right in front of the Iris table.

I actually felt my breath catch in my throat. With my heart pounding harder with each step, I shuffled over to my table and sat down, staring down at my plate as if somehow it could save me.

But no, it couldn't, or maybe it just refused to. Either way, I was acutely aware of the exact moment that Nico walked in through the door. His black hair actually had a bit of a shine to it, and I watched his brown eyes as they swept from side to side like he was looking for someone.

I tried to make myself as small as possible and I was actually succeeding. But then he sat down at his table. I swear, my heart stopped right then and there. If he looked up, he would have a clear, uninterrupted view of my face, now bright red.

I prayed to every god I knew that he would suddenly find his cutlery very intriguing, and keep his head down, but no such luck came my way. He looked up and his chocolaty brown eyes met my own. I sucked in a breath and he offered a weak wave of the hand. I, in return, offered a fake smile.

I thought I was saved when one of the guys from my cabin sat across from me, shielding me from Nico's chocolate-colored eyes, but then karma caught up with me. In the form of "The Pout". Yes, that is her name, don't question it.

She glanced between Nico and I, and I swear, her face and smile stretched just like the Grinch. She got this really evil smile and sashayed her way over to Ezekiel, the mountain that blocked my view of Nico. He glanced once at me and stood up to sit on the opposite end of the table. I shot him daggers the whole time. He didn't even take a second glance. But The Pout sure did. Her smile stretched further and she put her purse down blocking anyone from sitting there, in my little window of Nico.

Nico was staring back at me, a confused expression on his face.

And it was that look that made up my mind. If Nico found out what I really was, that look would come across his face. But then disgust would follow soon after.

My mind raced as it went through the possible scenarios. There were several, but they all ended the same way. I was covered in guilt and Nico was staring at me with a look of loathing.

A hand touched my shoulder, pulling me out of my trance. I followed the arm up to the person's face, and marveled at just how tender the look in their eyes was. Their chocolate-colored eyes. I remembered that same look from last night, and I felt as if I would burst from longing to feel his bare skin against mine. But the scene rose again through my mind and shooed my longing away.

Nico knelt down so that his face was level with mine and asked in a low voice, "Are you alright?" I nodded my head, slightly confused. "…then why are you crying?"

I touched my hand to my cheek and it indeed came back wet. I stared at it for a long time, just trying to figure out how I could say what was really wrong. I failed. Miserably.

So instead, I just got up, and walked out of the dining pavilion. I heard Nico ask, "What did I say?"

**A/N: Alright. Confession time. I have lost touch with this. I'm sorry, but I think I'm on the verge of scrapping this story away to the furthest reaches of the universe. But nothing is set in stone yet.**

**I'm sorry for such a short chapter, but I think I have a massive case writer's block.**

**I'm hoping the story will pick up in action soon though…Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

I watched as Felicia left the dining hall, wondering if I did anything wrong. Somehow food appeared on my plate and I dimly registered that it was waffles and boysenberry syrup. The waffles were dry in my mouth and the syrup a sickly, too thick paste. I swallowed it down out of sheer will power. The whole time I kept thinking of the way that Felicia practically ran out of the hall. I finished up the rest of my waffles and wandered out of the hall, just as Chiron announced that the day's activities would start as soon as possible. And so I made my way off to sword fighting.

*

I spent the first half of my sword fighting class, (instructed by Percy) in a half-asleep state. On one hand, I was excited for my "meeting" with Felicia tonight. But on the other hand, my naturally pessimistic mind was dreading what she would say. What if she said that we weren't going to work out? There wasn't exactly much I could do about it. So instead of thinking about the bad news that was potentially heading my way, I let myself float away into daydreams.

I woke myself from my daydream when I felt my back hit the floor of the arena. I looked up and saw a smiling kid from the Morpheus cabin. I had a sinking feeling that he had just kicked my ass. Normally I would not have had a problem with it, but this kid was less than half my size! I looked down and, sure enough, my own blade was resting against my neck. And I couldn't breathe that well. The kid had actually had time to sit on my chest! I felt my cheeks burn from embarrassment and avoided looking at the other campers staring at me. Of course, my avoiding eye contact did not keep them from laughing. They ended up laughing anyways. Hard.

But I had to smile when I thought back to my daydream. It had been a particularly steamy one in which a certain daughter of Iris and I starred. And the movie was number one in the box office!

I tried to laugh along with the class at myself, but it came out sounding forced. I stood up and walked with hunched shoulders back to the ring of people around me. But at the last second Percy grabbed onto my arm. He looked at me with a mischievous smile languishing on his face. He was a lot taller than me now and his grip on my arm was like a vice.

"C'mon, Nico. I'm not that bad a teacher! I know I showed you better than that. Why don't you try again with someone new?"

I'll never know why, but I found myself nodding, even while seeing the creepy smile on his face. Looking back, I knew that I should have expected something.

He nodded and pushed my back into the center of the ring. I stood there with my back to the crowd. I mentally gave myself a tongue lashing.

"C'mon, Nico! Sword fighting is the only thing that these people respect you for! Don't lose that respect, too!"

I lifted my head feeling somewhat more lighthearted. That is, until Percy spoke again.

"Felicia, would you?"

I swear, I think my heart stopped right there. No, it didn't skip a beat, it just stopped cold.

"Oh shit."

But I might've had a seizure at Felicia's answer.

"Sure, why not? It'll be fun."

I waited, without taking a breath as I listened to Felicia's footsteps behind me. I couldn't help thinking that this was going to be a short fight. I mean, she was already shy and I don't think that she was going to be in a fighting mood after the show between us this morning.

But no, she stepped out in front of me vastly different from the girl that I had laid down in my bed with. Her silky brown hair was pulled up, out of her eyes and she just exuded confidence. I blinked my eyes several times to decide if my eyes were playing tricks on me. When she didn't change her form, I decided that I liked this new Felicia. But she smirked at me.

"Like what you see?"

Zeus knows I DID! I had to force myself not to look down at her legs, hanging out of her shorts. But I failed and she noticed. She laughed at me and I hoped that any weirdness between us was over and done with. I hoped stronger than ever that we would be able to work something out.

And for the first time I noticed that she carried a knife in her hand, with a practiced grip. I felt a shiver run through my skin. To wield and attack with a knife, you had to get really close to your opponent. Close enough to touch. Close enough to caress. Close enough to kiss. I shut my eyes and tried to will the surge of hormones away.

She cleared her throat and I returned my attention to her. I felt my cheeks burning and she laughed at me, a high, beautiful sound. And right there, I made a promise.

"I'm going to make her laugh like that every day."

I surprised myself with the seriousness of my own promise.

*

Somewhere in the background, I heard Percy count us off.

"Ready? Start!"

Felicia rushed towards me, arms outstretched. Her face was a mask of confidence and light shone off her skin slightly.

"A hug? Alright."

But the "hug" turned into a strike forward with the knife, and I had to clumsily bring my Stygian blade up to parry it. It went all downhill from there.

She had me backing up on my heels the whole time with wild and well placed thrusts. It must have looked like we were dancing back and forth. Well, dancing with pointy things, at least.

It was dancing until I tripped. I landed heavily on my back and Felicia gave a strangled cry of victory before thrusting her knife towards my chest. My eyes widened at the ferocity of the attack and I had to roll off to the side, narrowly avoiding the knife. I quickly leapt to my feet and stabbed my blade in her direction. She danced away with a dancer's grace and ended up in one of the best positions that I have ever seen. Well, a position in which she could pluck my throat out if she wanted.

Her back was leaning against my chest slightly and her left arm held the knife close to the hollow of my throat.

She was so close I could smell her! She was so full of life, so much energy! I struggled to not take a huge whiff of her. That wouldn't be creepy at all!

"If I could, I would love you." I mused to myself. Her start and gasp told me that I had spoken it into her ear.

I opened my mouth to apologize but instead she grinned and, interrupting Percy, spun away from me. Her eyes sparkled with some new emotion, and I struggled at not catching her up in my arms and pressing my lips against hers.

I grinned too, her smile was contagious. We charged at the same time, and at the last second, turned so that we passed each other by the fraction of an inch. We were close enough to kiss if we just leaned forward.

She whipped up her knife and I was forced to parry it. But she stopped partway and my sword flew out of my hand from momentum. She laughed and brandished her knife again. I backed up like a crab and reached up and knocked the knife from her hand.

Before she was able to scramble for it, I stuck my legs on either side of hers and tripped her up. With a scream she fell towards the floor.

…and fell right on top of me. On. Top. Of. ME!

Her weight was comforting on my chest and abs and I was glad that I was toned and my muscles hard and knotted underneath my shirt. I could feel her heartbeat against my chest, and somehow, it felt more intimate than even our night in my cabin.

We looked into each other's eyes. Me into deep sapphire blue eyes and her into brown-almost coal black eyes.

I must have let go of control. I was at full salute, poking her in the thigh even through my baggy shorts and she gasped.

I swear, maybe I should just paint my face red I have blushed so much today!

She laughed in my face and put a hand on the center of my chest o stand- DID SHE JUST GRIND UP ON IT?!

I made a gurgling sound deep in my throat of pleasure and she smirked-right before Percy cleared his throat rather loudly as if to say "You two are still in public y'know." We blushed together and she finished standing up.

I saw that Percy was smiling and could have sworn that this was payback for my Annabeth and Logan comment. I pushed myself to my feet.

Now that we were finished, Felicia changed back into the simple timid girl that she had been before.

I leaned closer to her and asked in an undertone. "Are we still on for tonight?"

She nodded yes and walked away, just as Chiron called for the next rotation of classes.

I tried to ignore the way her face fell when she responded.

**A/N: Great news guys! Thanks to a few good reviews for this, I have decided to continue it! WOO! At the same time, I actually had fun writing this one! Double WOO! I don't have any excuse for why it took so long. I know I said that it would be up by Monday…and it is now Tuesday…**

**Anyways, be happy that I actually updated it! Review, s'il vous plait!**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter 5**_

I sat atop Zeus' fist, just staring up at the sky. The stars were so much brighter here than in the city. It was truly a shame that I had to spend most of the time on my "job" on the streets of Los Angeles, rather than my real home, Camp Half-Blood.

I sighed and focused back on the stars. I connected the dots to form each constellation. It was something that I had always been proud of. Being able to find each constellation, almost at will. I quickly put Orion together and he almost seemed to wink at me.

Ursa Major and Ursa Minor rolled and played in the sky before Ursa Minor was swept up into a bear hug.

I felt a deep sadness. Even the stars got more love than I did. Daddy dearest was sorry that I was even born.

I felt my breath hitch. It was a foreign sound. With a dad like mine, there was no time for tears, unless it was genuine pain. I had grown up a serious girl, devoid of feeling. Sadness had no leash around my neck and happiness never graced me with her wings.

I took a peek at my watch. 10:52. Nico should be here soon.

I lay back on my back and mused upon the dark-haired serious boy. Not a boy, but not yet a man. But I never really knew if I wanted a man. In LA, that's all I would ever see. I shuddered and pushed the thought away.

But my thoughts returned to Nico. He was so tender in a ravaging sort of way, if that makes sense. Great, even my own thoughts are confused. The way he looked at me early in the morning, when I tried to introduce myself made my spine shiver. I smiled at the memory.

But it was my hesitation that really drew my attention. I had never "met" anyone that kept themselves back. They always took the first step. And they always left the money.

But Nico didn't have money, nor did either of us expect. Hell, his pants didn't even have pockets!

I sighed. I didn't want a man, yet I didn't want a boy. Did I really want Nico though, or was it a spur of the moment thing?

I sat up. But there was the way that Nico spoke to me at sword fighting practice. Just those simple words, they meant so much, they actually did send my heart a-flutter. Gag. I usually leave that mushy junk up to Cupid.

What was with Nico? "If I could, I would love you."? What did that even mean? Could he love?

I flopped back down.

"Ugh! Why are you so damn confusing, Nico?!"

The voice directly opposite my head made me jump.

"Why am I so confusing? What about you! Why eleven o'clock?! I'm freezing my ass of here!"

I jumped again, his voice was so loud in the quiet. His approach had been completely silent. I hadn't even felt his hair brush against mine.

"What the Hades, Nico?! You scared the crap out of me!"

He chuckled. "I do that sometimes. Comes with the territory of being a son of Hades." He rolled his eyes and gave a dark chuckle.

It was silent after a while. I felt so uncomfortable with him now. It was actually tiring to switch around so much. In La, I'm the sexy seducing woman, but here I open up a bit more, showing how quiet I really am. In Nico's cabin, I actually had to force out some confidence.

But he broke the silence.

"Why eleven?"

"Because of the stars."

He turned his head to look at me.

"What?"

"They're beautiful."

He was quiet for a long time.

"What about the moon?"

I blinked. "What do you think about it?" He continued.

"It's a big stone in space, reflecting the sun's light. Of course, it's all driven by Artemis. Not much else to it."

More silence.

"I want to show you something." He said suddenly.

"What?"

But he slid down, leaving me to slide down afterwards.

He slinked off into the shadows.

"It's not really something to freak out about, but it's kind of surprising."

"Aw, Nico! You don't have some weird growth, right?! Like, no extra fingers or appendages, right!?"

"No! Just quiet down for a sec!"

I shut my mouth and leaned up against the tree.

I could see Nico's face in the shadow and the light from above his face.

His regal features had a haunting look to them as if sleepless nights and an unending sadness had turned them cold and hard as stone.

It made me want to grab him and pull him into a hug and force some warmth into him, just to see that smile that made the blood pound into my ears.

"What are you smiling at? It's kind of creeping me out… and it's hard to do that." Nico jerked me out of my reverie.

"Who said that I was smiling? And I don't think anyone would be smiling at you. You're too ugly."

I clapped my hand over my mouth in shock. I would never, ever have said anything like that had I not met Nico.

But Nico had his head thrown back and he barked out a laugh.

"No, you were! This big goofy grin on your face!"

He pulled out his own imitation and it did look pretty bad. Soon we were both laughing.

I stopped after a little while.

He didn't.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-your-ha-ha face!"

He imitated me again and actually fell to the floor laughing.

I marched into the shadow and pulled him up and then pushed him back to the floor out of the shadow.

And gasped.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

I tried to stop laughing, I really did, but each time I did manage to calm down, I would see that big silly grin on her face.

For a second I allowed myself to believe that the smile was the go ahead for us and my heart swelled. I let myself laugh out of pure joy. And then I pictured her face again and I just lost control all over again.

Btu I abruptly stopped laughing when I felt her hand on my back.

"No! Not yet!"

But she had already pushed.

My heart stopped and I closed my eyes so I would not have to see her face when she called me a freak.

1…

2…

3…

"Ah!"

There it is.

I turned back to face her. Felicia's eyes were glued to my face, the only part still visible. But it was still glowing.

I could see the silvery glow reflecting in her eye.

I caught her eye and slowly raised my arms to the hem of my long sleeve shirt.

Slowly, so I wouldn't alarm her, I raised my shirt higher, pausing every few seconds.

Finallyu I had my shirt off, exposing my chest and abs to her.

Her eyes widened and she took a small step back.

"What is this, Nico?"

I expected revulsion or even anger, so when Felicia's awe filled one reached my ears, I froze.

The night air was cool, but my skin burned where her eyes roved over my skin.

I took a step forward, words still refusing to burst from my mouth. I stopped a few feet away from her and sat down. I stared at the floor of the clearing and fiddled with a few leaves.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Felicia distracted me by actually sitting down with me. I looked up into her eyes. Any other girl would have run screaming about black eyed silvery Hades' kids.

I smiled slightly and looked back down. In a low voice, suddenly gruff and husky, I began to speak.

"This…this is me." I paused.

She stared at me, fidgeting and waiting for me to continue.

"I'm dark and brooding, cold and mean, and sarcastic and dry. I paused again.

"But this is me too." I raised my arm and studied the skin ther, still glowing.

Ever since Bianca died, I've felt fractured, as if I was missing a piece.

My voice grew in strength as I spoke.

"Somehow, when I glow, I feel exposed like I don't have to hide anymore. I can mourn if I need to, or I can just enjoy the solitude. It's therapy, in my own way."

Felicia's gaze had traveled from my eye to my neck, and she stared. Silence fell between us as I studied her from the corner of my eye.

Finally I extended my neck and a little and gave her my silent permission to touch. She glanced back up at my eye again and slowly extended her fingers out to touch my neck. She quickly brushed my neck and pulled her hand away just as quickly.

But she put her hand back and stroked my cheek. My eyes rolled a little in my head and my breathing hitched. Just his simple touch made my blood pound in my ears.

"It's warm!"

I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm still me."

She blushed (swoon) and I found myself smiling. And I had a feeling it was big and goofy too.

But I pushed a little more, and I've got to say, I thought it was a pretty smooth switch.

"So now you know. And that brings the grand total up to two. You and me. Only you and me." I paused.

"Nobody else matters."

I didn't even know what I was talking about, my little secret or her and I.

I turned back to Felicia. Her eyes twinkled and my heart sped up. My body moved on autopilot now. I cupped her neck in my hand and bent towards her.

I knew I was glowing, but I sweat, I think the stars exploded when our lips met.

A/N: Hey guys. I wasn't really satisfied with this. When I was writing this in class, it sounded much better than when it was all typed out. I've tried to tweak it, but I don't think it's going to get any better. I'm sorry about the length, but that's why I updated twice! Review,s'il vous plait!


	7. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7**_

**A/N: Congratulations. Enough people favorited or story-alerted this piece of crap for me to feel guilty enough and update it. So make sure you thank your fellow readers. I've been away for a long time, and I hope my writing hasn't decreased in its caliber. So here we go. Chapter 7. Enjoy.**

Nico's coal black eyes and his silvery glow contrasted sharply against one another. The effect was enticing, almost intoxicating. I found myself smiling at him, and not even noticing the way he grew uncomfortable with my staring.

"Uh, Felicia? You feeling alright?" He took my hand and electricity flared up from my toes. I broke my trance and focused on him.

"You're not gonna faint on me or something, are you?"

I stared at him.

"Of course not! Why would you say that?!"

He held his hands up in surrender and backed away slowly.

Silence settled on us then and I couldn't tear away my eyes from his skin.

Abruptly, without preamble he started to speak. I listened to his explanation really trying to focus. But each time, my concentration would slip and my eyes would slowly shift from his eyes to his skin. The light felt warm even coming off of his body. He still had his shirt off and the light dipped off the sloping skin over his muscles, creating shadow and pockets of brighter light.

I was so busy staring at him, I didn't register that he had stepped closer. Or that he fit his hand on my cheek. Not until he placed his lips against mine. His were warm and sweet, and I gasped into his mouth. Our tongues met and danced their seduction dance, and I lost myself to him. I mentally pinched myself to remind myself why we would never work. And knowing that made me cold all over.

My tears came slowly at first, and a laugh made me hiccup. The irony was so cruel. Finally I could use the "It's not you, it's me" line and it was a guy I actually wanted to be with!

At my hiccup, he pulled away and looked me in the eye. His cheeks were a bit flushed and his lips slightly swollen.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" He asked me in a panicky voice.

I brushed his answers away with a fierce kiss, and decided I would enjoy a little more of him before I pushed him away.

But it was him who stopped.

"Felicia. I'm tired of this whole "Hit it and quit it crap" that's been going on."

He let go of me and started to pace, waving his arms around as he spoke.

"I don't want you for a night. Or even a day. I want you to be mine 24/7!"

His next few words were lost as he continued to rant and rave. I had an urge to cover his mouth with my own again, just to calm his down.

I wanted to stop him, to tell him to let me go, to just forget me. But I couldn't. My tongue froze up on me. I couldn't utter a single sound and all he did was rant loudly and passionately.

"The girls that come to my cabin? Nothing! They mean nothing to me! They don't care for me! And I don't care for them."

He paused and collected himself. Oh, no.

"I've thought about this long and hard. And I know I'm not being naïve or stupid about it when I say…"

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Please gods, don't let him say it! I couldn't handle it! Please!

"I love you."

Obviously the gods chose to ignore me. Or maybe Aphrodite threatened them to butt out.

There it was. Out in the open. Part of my brain tried to say that he couldn't love me. I had only known him for a day! Ok, a day and half the night. But still! It wasn't possible!

"Nobody loves Hades. And the same goes for his kids, Felicia. When you talked to me…well. Nobody else at camp had like you before."

I closed my eyes. This was not going to be easy, or pleasant. Especially when I felt something for Nico too.

I climbed to the top of Zeus' Fist and willed the stars t make this go away, or at least easier. My words came in halting spurts, my tongue struggling to form them.

"Nico, I …help…my dad out. His work is…important, it's important to him. I can't afford any…distractions." I kept my eyes fixated on one point in the sky. But stars couldn't compete with the bright boy just feet from me.

The only thing I could hear was his breathing for several long seconds.

"So that's all I am, huh? A distraction? Fine. I've been called worse."

I twisted around to face him.

"Nico, no! That's not what I meant!"

He looked back at me with anger and sadness coloring his face.

"So what did you mean? Was I just a game to you? You come to my cabin, talk to me like a human being, make me feel things for you, and then you go and pull a stunt like this? Are you usually this heartless, or did I just not get a chance to see this from you?"

My temper flared. He dared to call me heartless? Hell no.

I seethed and pulled in my breath through my clenched jaw, creating a whistling sound.

"Heartless. Heartless? Who the hell do you think you are? You dark piece of shadow on the wall?! Shadows are seen at the most, not heard! So shut your mouth!"

His jaw clenched together, and he stared at me with his coal black eyes that reminded so many people of death itself.

"Just shut up! You don't know me! I go back home to help my father and you call me heartless? Wasn't it you that has grandeurs of being unloved and loveless? And you dare to call me heartless?!"

Silence ruled again, punctuated only by my deep breaths.

He broke it.

"You know why I don't know you? It's because you never open up. Look at me. I'm standing here at night, under the stars, with the girl I love," I cringed. "Without a shirt, glowing like a damn firefly, and just told her my most personal secret ever. What the fuck have you told me? Hades, you can't even tell me what sort of help you do with your dad! What happened to the girl that I sparred with? The one who kicked my ass? She was someone worth talking to."

My eyes narrowed. I knew that I would regret my next words, but only after they were said.

"As if anyone actually wanted to know you. You're going to die alone and unhappy. You sulk around camp, leeching onto Percy's elbow like he was your third arm. You're dark and creepy, and you look like death warmed over!"

"If you feel that way, you can clear out. Nobody's stopping you." He replied in his coldest of voices.

"I will! I came here to tell you that I'm leaving anyways. My dad called me back. I wasn't aware I needed your permission to leave."

I felt gratified to see his mouth hung open in shock.

I turned away, and collected my luggage that I had stashed behind a tree earlier. I straightened up and saw that Nico stood rooted to that same spot, mouth still open in astonishment.

I looked at him and decided to jab him one last time.

"And Nico? I don't love you. And I never will."

I blinked and when I opened my eyes again, I saw coal black eyes racing towards me. His pupil expanded and covered his whole eye as he rushed towards me. I threw my hands up in front of me and braced myself for an impact. Nico disappeared into smoke s he passed through me. A long wail echoed long after he was gone. The sound will torment me forever.

I felt a drop of water on my arm and realized it was a tear. I touched my own face and saw it was dry. And seeing Nico's tear made me tear up.

I cried for the trip back to my father.

I cried for leaving Camp.

I cried for the pain I would soon feel.

But most of all, I cried for the lies I told Nico.

**A/N: Hey all. It was a bit shaky in the middle, so please review and tell me how I did after coming back from my extended-ahem- absence.**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8**_

**A/N: Hey everybody! I'm back! You can thank all of the people that added the story to their story alert list and/or reviewed the story. I haven't written any fiction in a while, so bear with me, please. Enjoy!**

Each of my eyes felt as if they ripped in half when I let the darkness within me flow free. It sucked up everything that made me human, eventually overcoming my shape as well. My eyes expanded and turn jet black, sucking up all light and taming it. I opened my mouth and wailed out loud, shaking the trees and cracking Zeus' fist off to the side.

I surged straight at Felicia, feeling a dark satisfaction as she threw up her arms and a look of horror appeared on her face. But her words came back to me.

"I don't love you. And I never will." A tear squeezed out of the corner of my eye as I flew _through_ Felicia. The tear fell completely free from my form. I did not see where it went.

I hit the shadow plane at a sprint and didn't stop even as my form shifted back to solid flesh and blood. Tears blinded me, but I just kept running, my chest heaving in physical and emotional pain.

But my mind was sharp and clearer than ever before. I opened myself up to the shadows of Hades and let them out. I felt the same odd sensation as I crossed hundreds of miles in the shadow realm.

With a small pop, I landed on bent knee in a cemetery. Thoughts ran through my head like centaurs.

"Why did I tell her I loved her? So stupid! What the Hades was I thinking?" I threw back my head and howled. The moon loomed above me, and "werewolf" appeared in my mind. I looked down at my hands, expecting them to burst into furry claws.

Seconds passed and nothing happened.

"Wow. You really are losing it aren't you?" I looked around me and saw nobody.

"Come out! Now!" I shouted into the night air, looking around swiftly.

"Oh, I don't need to come out. I'm already here. In fact, I'm always here, inside your heart, waiting to fulfill your deepest, darkest desires."

I left my mouth open, dumbfounded.

"You can't know what I want. You don't know anything about me."

"Oh but I do, Nicolas. I do indeed. Dear child, I AM you!"

A clump of shadows oozed out of the ground beneath me. The mound undulated and quivered violently before calming down. I saw two legs form, then two arms. A chest and fingers. The head grew out of two shoulders grotesquely, and shifted around in the middle of the space before centering itself.

But there was no face. Just a big blank area. But the longer I looked; the features shimmered, shifting from familiar and even unfamiliar people. I saw Percy and Grover, and even Chiron, before the skin there shifted to my face. My doppelganger's eyes were a dull lifeless shade of gray, completely unlike Annabeth's.

I backed up slightly, wary of this new figure. I materialized my Stygian blade in my hand and felt the temperature drop a few degrees.

"Stop. What do you want? Who are you? Answer me." My mind stayed sharp, waiting for danger to present itself.

"My name is not important, and I only want what you want, Nicolas. I am you. We are the same."

"Come off it. I would have known if you were living in my body."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Silly child." The figure's eyes widened and turned black. It showed my things that only I myself could know. My moonlit glow, my night with Felicia, my fight with Percy after he told me my sister was dead, even the combo to my locker at Camp Half-Blood.

"Stop! Stop it now!" I yelled.

"Do you believe me now? Do you see that I am actually you?" The figure smiled at me with a menacing smile.

"You may know everything about me, but you are not me. No way in hell. I am-"

"Tell me this, Nicolas. Do you desire the human girl, Felicia?"

I faltered a little in my speech. Did I want Felicia? Even after she treated me?

"…Yes. Yes, I do."

The phantom smiled widely, showing all of my—his teeth.

"I can help you with this. Tell me this now. Why did the girl say that she had to go? To leave Camp?"

"She needed to help her father. But what does this have to do—"

"Patience, child. All will be clear momentarily. Now, what do you suppose would happen if the girl's father was…no longer a part of the equation?"

"What exactly do you mean? I am not killing an innocent man. Besides, how would that help? If he disappeared, that doesn't mean she will just come back to Camp. He is her father. She loves him!"

I raised my blade to banish him back to the underworld, but he held up a hand.

"Wait! I know things! Many things about her that would be in your best interest to hear!"

But I turned my heart cold and swung through with my sword. Flesh peeled back from the phantom's body until the only thing left was a bright orb the size of an apple. It flashed neon colors before floating towards me. It sank, white hot, deep into my chest. I dropped my blade, which vanished as it hit the ground. I dropped to my knees, clutching my chest. It felt as if I was kicked in the balls, smashed with a hammer, and dropped out of a plane all at the same time.

I fell to my stomach and lay there, just waiting for the pain to diminish. It was a long time before I was able to breathe normally again.

When the pain vanished, I rose to my knees and materialized my blade into my hand.

All of a sudden I felt anger course through my veins. I tightened my grip on my sword and pointed it at the ground. I sent a surge of power out of my sword and forced a rectangular pit into existence. With a boom, the ground exploded before rearranging itself into a completely rectangular pit with smooth sides.

Pointing my sword at the pit, I growled out, with a voice completely unlike my own, "_Bianca di Angelo, come forth. I command it! By the blood of the earth and the souls of the damned, arise to do your master's bidding!" I swiped my sword downwards, in an attempt to hurry the soul along. Screw cheeseburgers and cola; I am Hades son, master of the dead!_

_Shadows collected together once again, forming the image of my sister, Bianca. Being dead, she hadn't aged a day from the time she passed. Still a young girl, her eyes blazed._

_"Who do you think you are! I don't care if I'm dead, I WILL kick your ass!" She exploded._

_"Quiet, spirit—"I tried to interject._

_"Who do you think you are talking to? I don't care what sort of issues you have, you will show me some respect!" She cut me off, eyes blazing and fist curling and uncurling. "I have half a mind to go back down into the Underworld! You don't see me for far too long, and when you do, it's with this attitude? You must be crazy or stupid or both!"_

_I dropped my act and lowered my shoulders in a defeated slump. "Bianca—"I tried to start._

_"Don't interrupt me!"_

_"Please." I said._

_She stopped talking and looked at me clearly for the first time. She floated over to where I stood, eyes on the brink of tears and shoulders collapsed with sadness. She placed her arms around me and hugged me tight. Or she tried to. Her arms went straight through me, and that's what did it. I sank to my knees and wailed out my sadness to the moon._

_**A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! I am actually somewhat satisfied with this one, so tell me what you think.**_


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